Confession time.

One I never thought I’d be making.

It’s Friday morning as I tap these words out.

I’ve not long got back from my twice-weekly, 2500 metre early morning swim in the local “chemical swamp”…and I’m not long out of the hour-long meditation which follows it.

 I’ve just ended a phone call.

 On it, I uncharacteristically managed to reduce a young lady to tears.

Not exactly what I set out to do at the beginning of every day I’m given.

She shared her name with my daughter.

Emily’s call wasn’t expected, and was both unwelcome and unwanted. It was a solicitation, a cold call, and it came in on my cell phone.

These calls are so bloody annoying, aren’t they? 

You do all you can to keep your cell number private, but in this day and age, it’s easier said than done. Punch it in somewhere, and within days your details are the database of a  multitude of organisations with call centres.

The unwelcome disturbance is the least of the irritation. It’s the price of the distraction from whatever activity you were doing at the time.

Haven’t we all got enough distraction in the relentless war for our attention already?

I know I have.

So did Emily’s emotional meltdown come about because she got a full-throttled dose of Simpson’s “grumpy bastard on steroids” routine?

Well, no, as it ‘appens.

She…

… and you might want to sit down for this one …

… got tearful because (in her words not mine) of my “kindness”.

I know. I surprise myself at times. And you’ll have to keep this between us of course. After all, I have my hard-earned reputation and “street cred” to consider.

Anyway, I’m not sure if my comments to Emily can be construed as being “kind”… I just intuitively felt she needed a lift.

As she introduced herself and asked how I was, I ignored the effort to build rapport and replied: “I don’t believe I’ve any association with who you represent Emily, would you kindly remove my number from your database?”

She apologised and said she would.

“No need to apologise, Emily. You’re doing a job, and a tough one at that. I used to do the work you’re doing for many years, and I want you to know you’re going to be okay. Keep ploughing through the numbers and remember: if someone is nasty to you, it’s not personal, and it says everything about them and nothing about you. Stay strong”.

Silence. For what seemed an eternity.

Then, a slight sniff. “Sorry”, she said, her voice containing a slight but telling tremble, “Thank you for your kindness, Christian”.

“You’re welcome Emily. I wish you great success. Stay well”.

And with that, the call ended.

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not sticking a halo over my head, or angel wings on my back. That would be taking the piss.

I’ve just been on the other side of the fence plenty of times – more times than I care to remember… and if I can’t use the experience to find it in my heart to lift a young lady just starting out in terms of making her way through life, well, what would that say about me?

I’m not renowned for my constraint.

And in the past, especially if I got plenty of attitude coming back when enquiring how the caller/organisation got my number, I’ve lit the cannons.

So I wrote this article, to you, to remind me of the polarity within me.

The healer and the crucifier.

The darkness and the light.

The ignoramus and the aware.

The Christ and the Hitler.

The compassionate and the arsehole.

And in reminding myself of how the Law of Polarity exists within me as much as it exists everywhere else, I remind myself of a great truth I so easily forget: that the only one choosing which part of me shows up in any given moment is?

Yep, you got it.

Now I can’t speak for you, … but I’m still work in progress at times on that score. 

What about you?

Warmly,

Christian

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